Starting a new health and wellness journey is difficult enough, but when you face opposition from the person closest to you? That makes it even harder. You might see our before/after flashbacks and assume that David and I were always on this journey together, but that’s not true. In 2016 when I decided to make a lifestyle change, I thought David would want to jump in with me, doing workouts together, making healthier food choices, etc. The opposite happened. He supported me doing my own thing, but didn’t want anything to do with it himself.
Naturally, I kept asking him to workout with me. He would decline. I’d get on him about drinking soda, and he’d drink more in spite of me. He truly wanted nothing to do with it and it caused a lot of tension between us. There came a point when I chose to stop trying. I was tired of the frustration and accepted that he wasn’t going to change, but that didn’t mean I had to stop my progress. So I showed up every day for myself and stopped caring about his opinion.
He saw the effort I was putting into my workouts at home and making better food choices. He saw my confidence boosting and body composition changing. I was a better, happier person and in his own time, he decided he wanted to make that same change for himself.
Here are a few lessons I learned about this experience that might help you if you are navigating a similar situation:
- It’s good to invite them to join you. The might say no. In fact, they probably will say no over and over again, but at least they know they are always welcome to join.
- If you do get constant no’s, there’s a point where it comes across as nagging. If that happens, it’s okay to back off and stop asking. The point has already been made.
- You MUST keep showing up for yourself even if that person (or people) don’t support you. You are proving both to them and to yourself that this new lifestyle is a priority and you WILL make it work. You are being a leader with your actions.
- Try to have patience in the process. I know it’s frustrating, but they will come around with time as they see your results.
- Find others who will celebrate the journey with you! Just because your spouse/friend/family member doesn’t support you, there are plenty of others who will. Seek out that kind of encouraging community. If you don’t have one, join mine!
Whether you are already on a wellness journey or are looking to start one, you are welcome to join me. I’d love to be your virtual cheerleader as you pursue your goals. Learn more about that here.
